from the beginning

on 8.15.08 after 1 year of trying to conceive our second child and 2 rounds of blood tests and a semen analysis, we were told i had diminished ovarian reserve (pre-menopausal) at the age of 31 and an appointment was made with a reproductive endocronologist (hereon referred to as an re).

from the d'angelo family blog...

saturday, august 16, 2008

what we're dealing with (one and only post)

if you're a frequent visitor to our blog, you'll notice i've added some new items to the sidebar. to many of you, you'll be surprised to hear that john and i have been trying to conceive (ttc) our 2nd child for a year now. this may not sound like a lot of time, but it took us 2 years to conceive anthony, and 2nd time around once you've had one is supposed to be easier. not so when you're diagnosed as having secondary infertility caused by diminished ovarian reserve."

although over three million americans are affected by the painful experience of secondary infertility, it generally remains an unacknowledged and invisible condition. secondary infertility is defined as the inability to become pregnant, or to carry a pregnancy to term, following the birth of one or more biological children. even though the couple already has a child, the couple experiences secondary infertility as the loss of a child, the loss of pregnancy,and the loss of childbirth. the emotional experience of secondary infertility often is a compilation of the distressing feelings of anger, grief, depression, isolation, guilt, jealousy, self-blame, and being out of control. couples may feel guilty for experiencing normal grief and worry about how their anguish will affect their existing child. the powerlessness to produce a sibling for the existing child often produces feelings of sorrow, as does the inability to perpetuate the parenting role. many feel distant from their friends as those who were a great source of support when parenting the first child are now linked to sensations of pain and jealously. sadly, couples with secondary infertility tend to receive less social support from others than couples who have primary infertility because the infertility is unacknowledged, the pain associated with infertility is invisible as the couple has a child, and there is no concrete loss in the family.

in addition, couples experiencing secondary infertility may be recipients of criticism by others who think they should be grateful for one child and that it is foolish to go to extremes to increase family size. of course, a couple can be extraordinarily thankful for their existing child and still long for more children. to avoid the sense of isolation that often accompanies secondary infertility, and to maintain necessary social support, it is important to educate friends and family members about the common feelings associated with secondary infertility."-resolve: the national infertility associationy

ou can catch up with the steps we've taken so far and i will update as changes occur. if you're not interested in following along...no need to view those sidebar options...if you are, that's where you'll find what's going on. i won't be posting anything within the actual post area here regarding this topic as it's always been an area of happiness and i want to keep it that way, so you'll only continue to enjoy (and for some be bored by) stories and pictures of anthony and the other goings on in our family and extended families.

this is a private matter, but i am a person that deals better when i discuss things rather then pretend they don't exist which is why i'm laying this out there. however, due to the privacy and nature surrounding it, i would ask that any questions/comments you have be directed to us in the form of email and not in the comments section below. you can do so by clicking here. that being said...i feel much better about getting this out in the open.

please know that we are forever greatful to the Lord for giving us the opportunity to conceive and be parents to Anthony and we know that He will be with us as we go through each step of this new journey."

...today we find ourselves with a deepened faith, a deepened love for one another, and a deepened belief that God works all things together, even infertility, 'for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose'."-the Holy Bible: NIV