drumroll....

my estrogen went up!

estrogen is now at a very nice 159 and progesterone holding nicely at 14 (robin said the drop from 25 coincides wtih my estrogen level rising - no worries - needs to be over 10 and i'm comfortably at that).

all this to say that it still doesn't mean it worked and that i'm pregnant.

we're still rounding the final bend of this month's roller coaster ride and haven't hit the steepest hill yet. my beta is wednesday and that will be the part of this ride that makes me throw my hands up and scream in delight or throw up when it's over. doesn't that sound like fun?

i'm not analyzing anything. i've not p'd on anything. i waiver between wanting to poas, and then i remember that past 4 cycles where the booster shots from hell have just wreaked havoc on my emotions when that line would appear...and then disappear...and never reappear.

"there's a line. is it me? is it the booster? how many days since i o'd? how many days since the booster? how long for the booster to be out of my system? i need more sticks...how late is giant open?"

not doing that to myself yet again. my emotions (or wallet - 5 packs of various pg tests in february all down the drain - woah, could have paid for a few sushi dinners with that dough that's now gone) it's a hard thing to do, but i am holding out until wednesday morning just before i leave for the dr.'s office before i poas. i don't want to have any expectations prior to getting the call that afternoon.